SMOOTH CRIMINAL

cabernet sauvignon

RUFFINO

WISH

PERSIMMON DAQUIRI

ozark mountain daredevils gin, pimento dram, crème de casis, velvet falernum, honey

OZARK MOUNTAIN ELIXER

maker's mark 7 private select bourbon, amaro nonino, china china, bénédictine, bitters

THE 1909

horse soldier bourbon, applejack brandy, macadamia apple butter, lemon

GRANDAD'S ORCHARD SOUR

Cline Ancient Wines Zinfandel

Old Soul Red Blend

Böen Pinot Noir

Pavan Moscato

Ruffino Pinot Grigio

Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc

Finley Farms Cabernet

Finley Farms Chardonnay

Michelob Ultra Light Lager

4 by 4 Brewing Co Smooth Criminal IPA

Blue Canoe American Pale Ale

Big Cedar Buffalo Lager

Finley Farms Golden Hour Lager

Flower Punch

Mango Mojito

Prosciutto Sweet Pepper Margarita

Start with 6.5 gallons (24.6 L) of good brewing water. If your water contains chloramine or high chlorine, add half a Campden tablet per 5 gallons to remove it. Adjust mineral profile with gypsum or calcium chloride to taste: for a smooth stout a modest addition of calcium chloride (1-2 g) will enhance mouthfeel.

Water preparation

Heat 3.5 gallons (13.2 L) of strike water to 165°F (74°C). Mash in the crushed pale malt, flaked barley, oats, crystal, and specialty dark malts to reach a mash temperature of 152°F (67°C). Hold mash for 60 minutes, stirring gently and checking temperature; maintain +/- 2°F. Perform a mash-out by raising to 168°F (76°C) for 10 minutes.

Mash

Sparge with about 3 gallons (11.4 L) of 170°F (77°C) water until you collect ~6.5 gallons (24.6 L) of wort in the kettle. Adjust collected volume to account for boil-off so you end with roughly 5.25 gallons in fermenter after chilling.

Sparge and pre-boil volume

Bring wort to a vigorous boil. Add 1.0 oz Cascade hops at the start of the 60-minute boil for bittering. With 15 minutes left in the boil add 1 tsp Irish moss (or whirlfloc) to help clarify. At 5 minutes remaining add 0.5 oz East Kent Goldings (or Fuggle) for aroma. Total boil time: 60 minutes.

Boil and hop additions

At the end of the boil, chill the wort quickly to 65-68°F (18-20°C) using an immersion, counterflow, or plate chiller. Transfer the chilled wort to a sanitized fermenter, leaving behind trub and hop debris. Top up with sterile water to reach 5.0 gallons (19 L) if needed.

Chill and transfer

Aerate the wort thoroughly (oxygenate by shaking, splashing, or pure oxygen to recommended levels). Rehydrate or prepare the yeast per manufacturer instructions and pitch one packet of Irish ale yeast at 65-68°F (18-20°C).

Aeration and pitching yeast

Ferment at 65-68°F (18-20°C) for 5-7 days until activity slows, then allow to rest at the same temperature for a total of 10-14 days. Gravity should approach the expected final gravity (approx. 1.012-1.016 depending on mash efficiency).

Primary fermentation

For extra clarity and smoothness, rack to a secondary fermenter after 7-10 days and condition for another 1-2 weeks at 50-55°F (10-13°C). This helps mellow roast bite and round mouthfeel.

Optional secondary / conditioning

If kegging: cold crash the beer to 35-40°F (2-4°C) for 24-48 hours to drop yeast and solids. Transfer to a sanitized keg, purge with CO2, and carbonate to ~12-14 psi at 38°F (3°C) or force carbonate to desired volume (~1.8-2.2 volumes CO2 for a smooth stout on draft).

Packaging - kegging

If bottling: dissolve 4 oz (115 g) priming sugar in 8 oz (240 ml) boiling water, cool, and mix into the beer uniformly. Bottle in sanitized bottles and cap. Condition at room temperature for 2 weeks, then cold store for additional maturation.

Packaging - bottling

Allow carbonated beer to condition for at least 1 week (keg) or 2-3 weeks (bottle) before serving. Serve on draft at 42-48°F (6-9°C) with moderate carbonation for a smooth, creamy mouthfeel. Use clean lines and glassware.

Carbonation and serving

SMOOTH CRIMINAL should present as a dark, opaque stout with roasted espresso and chocolate notes, a creamy midpalate from oats and flaked barley, low-medium hop bitterness and a smooth finish. If roast is too sharp, reduce roasted barley/patent or increase flaked barley/oats next batch. For more sweetness increase crystal malt slightly.

Tasting notes and adjustments

Ensure the keg and draft lines are sanitized and clean before tapping. Chill the keg to serving temperature (42-48°F / 6-9°C). Connect CO2 and set pressure to achieve 1.8-2.2 volumes CO2 (approximately 12-14 psi at 38°F as a baseline) for a smooth stout. Allow 24-48 hours for pressure equilibration and dispense a small pour to check carbonation, adjusting pressure as necessary.

When pouring, tilt glass at 45° and begin pour, straightening at the end to form a 1⁄2–1 inch creamy head. Keep draft lines short (under 6 feet if possible) and at the correct PSI to minimize foaming and preserve smooth mouthfeel.

Pale malt (2-row)

Flaked barley

Caramel/Crystal 60L

Chocolate malt

Black patent malt

Roasted barley

Oats, rolled (for mouthfeel)

Water (strike + sparge + top up)

Cascade hops (bittering, 10% AA)

East Kent Goldings or Fuggle (aroma)

Irish moss (or whirlfloc - optional)

Irish ale yeast (safale S-04 or Wyeast 1275 equivalent)

Priming sugar (if bottling) OR CO2 for kegging

Campden tablet (optional, for chloramine removal)

Gypsum and/or calcium chloride (water adjustments - optional)

Clean keg and draft lines

Check the label for vintage, producer, and any storage notes. Ensure the bottle is at the recommended serving temperature (see Serving Temperature below). Visually inspect the cork and capsule for damage or leakage.

Inspect the bottle

For California Cabernet Sauvignon, target a serving temperature of 60–65°F (15–18°C). If the bottle is too warm, place it in the refrigerator for 20–30 minutes. If it is too cold, set it on the counter for 15–20 minutes.

Chill or warm to serving temperature

Remove the foil capsule with a foil cutter or the small knife on your corkscrew. Center the corkscrew on the cork and twist in steadily until the spiral is mostly inserted. Pull the cork out smoothly using the leverage on the corkscrew, avoiding sudden jerks to minimize cork breakage.

Open the bottle

Smell the cork briefly for any obvious mustiness (a sign of cork taint). Pour a small tasting amount (about 1–2 ounces / 30–60 ml) into a glass and smell and taste to ensure the wine is clean and shows the expected fruit, oak, and tannin characteristics.

Inspect the cork and wine

If the wine is relatively young (under 8–10 years) or appears tightly wound with strong tannins, decant for 30–90 minutes to soften and open the aromas. For older vintages with visible sediment, decant carefully to separate wine from sediment by pouring slowly into a decanter and stopping when you see sediment reaching the neck.

Decant if desired

Use large-bowled red wine glasses (cabernet style) to allow aromas to concentrate. Ensure glasses are clean, odor-free, and at room temperature.

Prepare glassware

Wipe the bottle lip with a small cloth or napkin. Pour about 5–6 ounces (150–180 ml) per serving, filling the glass to the widest part of the bowl to allow swirling and aeration.

Pour and present

Before guests taste, suggest swirling the wine gently to release aromas (black cherry, blackberry, cassis, cedar, vanilla, baking spice typical of California Cabernets). Pair with grilled or roasted red meats, rich mushroom dishes, aged cheeses (like aged cheddar or manchego), or dark chocolate desserts.

Tasting notes and pairing suggestions

Recork the bottle or use a wine stopper. Store upright in a cool, dark place or in the refrigerator. Consume within 3–5 days for best quality. Optionally use a vacuum pump or inert gas preservation system to extend freshness.

Storage of leftover wine

Cabernet Sauvignon (750 ml bottle)

Wine bottle opener (corkscrew)

Wine pourer or decanter (optional)

Red wine glass (cabernet style)

Wine aerator (optional)

Small cloth or napkin

Place the bottle of Ruffino Pinot Grigio in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours before serving. For faster chilling, submerge the bottle in an ice-water bath for 20–30 minutes.

Chill the bottle

If using lemon or mint garnish, wash and dry the lemon and mint. Slice a thin lemon wheel or cut a small twist; pick a fresh mint sprig and pat dry.

Select a clean white wine glass (or stemless glass). If you prefer the wine slightly colder and diluted, add 4–6 ice cubes to the glass. Note: traditional service is without ice.

Open the bottle: remove the foil capsule, wipe the top of the bottle with a clean cloth, then remove the cork with a corkscrew. Wipe the mouth of the bottle again.

Pour the wine: hold the bottle at the base and pour gently into the glass, filling to about one-third full (approximately 150 ml per serving) to allow the aromas to concentrate.

Garnish and finish: add the lemon wheel on the rim or a lemon twist in the glass if desired, or float a mint sprig for a subtle aromatic note. Serve immediately while chilled.

Reseal any remaining wine with a stopper or reinsert the cork and refrigerate upright. Consume within 3–5 days for best flavor. Note that white wine oxidizes and will gradually lose freshness.

Ruffino Pinot Grigio (chilled)

Lemon wheel or twist

Fresh mint sprig

Ice cubes

White wine glass (or stemless)

Place the Bonanza Chardonnay bottle in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours before serving to reach an ideal serving temperature of 45–50°F (7–10°C). If you need it chilled faster, submerge the bottle in an ice water bath (equal parts ice and water) for 20–30 minutes.

Remove the foil capsule covering the cork, wipe the top of the bottle with a clean cloth, then use a corkscrew to gently remove the cork. Wipe the bottle lip again if needed to remove any cork fragments or residue.

Hold the bottle at the base and pour slowly into white wine glasses, filling each glass about one-third full (approximately 4–5 oz / 120–150 ml per serving). This allows the wine to breathe and leaves room to swirl and appreciate the aromas.

Pour and serve

If the wine warms too quickly in the glass, place the bottle back in the refrigerator between pours or serve the glass briefly on ice in a small chilled bowl. If the wine is too cold and mutes aromas, let the poured glass sit for 5–10 minutes at room temperature before tasting.

Adjust serving temperature if needed

Prepare glassware by ensuring each white wine glass is clean and free of detergent residue. If using lemon garnish, place one thin lemon slice on the rim of each glass or on a small plate beside the glass for guests who want a subtle citrus accent.

Offer sparkling water in a separate carafe or bottle to cleanse the palate between tastes. Pour small amounts (about 60–90 ml) into small water glasses as needed.

Bonanza Chardonnay (California) bottle

Serving temperature (chill)

White wine glasses

Sparkling water (for palate cleansers)

Lemon slices (garnish, optional)

Peel one ripe Fuyu persimmon and dice. In a small blender or with an immersion blender, puree the persimmon until very smooth. Strain through a fine-mesh sieve into a small bowl to remove any fibrous bits. Measure out 1 fl oz of puree for the recipe. Reserve extra for another drink or discard.

Make puree

In a cocktail shaker, add 2 fl oz Tito's Vodka, 1 fl oz cold-brewed espresso, 1 fl oz persimmon puree, 0.5 fl oz fresh lime juice and 0.5 fl oz simple syrup. Add enough ice to fill the shaker about two-thirds (roughly 1 cup). Secure the lid and shake vigorously for 12–15 seconds until the outside of the shaker is very cold and slightly frosty.

Combine and shake

Double-strain the mixture into a chilled coupe or rocks glass (use a Hawthorne strainer and a fine-mesh sieve) to remove ice shards and any remaining persimmon fibers.

Strain

Top the strained cocktail with 2 fl oz chilled Sprite to add effervescence. Gently stir once with a bar spoon to incorporate the soda without flattening it.

Garnish with a thin persimmon slice or a lime wheel on the rim. Serve immediately.

Tito's Vodka

Cold-brewed espresso (or strong cold coffee for a lower caffeine option)

Ripe Fuyu persimmon puree

Fresh lime juice

Simple syrup (1:1)

Sprite (chilled)

Ice (for shaking and serving)

Persimmon slice or lime wheel (garnish)

Combine 0.5 oz honey and 0.25 oz hot water in a small container and stir until fully combined and smooth. Set aside to cool briefly.

Make honey syrup (if not using pre-made)

If you have concentrated blackcurrant syrup and pimento dram syrup pre-made, measure them out. These provide the deep fruit and warm allspice character of crème de cassis and pimento dram without alcohol.

In a cocktail shaker, add 1.5 oz non-alcoholic gin, 0.5 oz blackcurrant syrup (crème de cassis substitute), 0.25 oz pimento dram syrup, 0.5 oz velvet falernum syrup, 0.5 oz honey syrup, and 0.5 oz fresh lime juice. Fill the shaker with ice, cap, and shake vigorously for 12–15 seconds until well chilled and slightly diluted.

Build and shake

Fill a rocks glass with crushed ice or a large ice cube (about 1 cup of ice).

Prepare glass

Double-strain the shaken mixture into the prepared glass over the ice to remove small ice shards and ensure a silky texture.

Finish with aromatics: add 1 dash of Angostura bitters or a non-alcoholic aromatic spray on top if desired. Slap the mint sprig to release oils and tuck it into the drink alongside a lime wheel on the rim or float the wheel on top.

Serve immediately with a short straw or stirring stick so the drinker can mingle the layers if desired.

Honey

Hot water (to thin honey into honey syrup)

Blackcurrant (cassis) syrup or strong blackcurrant cordial

Pimento dram syrup (allspice dram non-alcoholic substitute)

Velvet Falernum syrup (spiced lime-almond syrup)

Ozark Mountain Daredevils Gin-flavored non-alcoholic spirit or juniper-forward non-alcoholic gin

Angostura bitters (optional aromatic drop) or non-alcoholic aromatic spray

Mint sprig

Lime wheel

Crushed ice or large ice cubes

Add 2 oz Maker's Mark 7 Private Select bourbon, 1/2 oz Amaro Nonino, 1/4 oz China-China, 1/4 oz Bénédictine, 3 dashes Angostura bitters and 1 dash orange bitters into a mixing glass filled with plenty of fresh ice.

Build and Stir

Stir briskly for 25–30 seconds (or until the outside of the mixing glass is well chilled and the liquid is properly diluted, about 20–25 turns). This achieves the proper dilution and silky texture for a spirit-forward cocktail.

Place a single large ice cube in a chilled Old Fashioned glass (or chilled rocks glass). Fine-strain the stirred cocktail over the large ice cube to avoid shards or excess dilution.

Take a wide strip of orange peel (about 1.5" x 2.5"). Hold it skin-side down over the glass and give it a sharp twist to express the oils over the cocktail, moving it around the surface so oils land on the drink. Optionally, run the peel's rim along the glass to release more aroma, then drop the peel into the drink or nest it on the ice.

Express and Garnish

Serve immediately. The 1909 is meant to be sipped slowly, appreciating the layered herbal-bitter notes balanced by the bourbon's caramel and oak. Replenish the ice as needed.

Maker's Mark 7 Private Select bourbon

Amaro Nonino

China-China (China-China or Kina China liqueur)

Bénédictine

Angostura bitters

Orange bitters

Large ice cube or clear block

Orange peel (wide, expressed)

If the macadamia apple butter is thick, warm a small amount (about 1 teaspoon) between your fingers or briefly microwave 3–5 seconds to loosen. Combine the 0.5 oz macadamia apple butter with 0.25 oz simple syrup in a small mixing cup and stir vigorously until smooth and pourable.

Prepare macadamia apple butter integration

Add 2 oz Horse Soldier Bourbon, 0.75 oz applejack brandy, 0.75 oz fresh lemon juice, the macadamia apple butter + syrup mixture, and 2 dashes Angostura bitters into a cocktail shaker. Add enough ice to fill the shaker about two-thirds (roughly 1 cup). Shake vigorously for 12–15 seconds until the exterior of the shaker is very cold and slightly frosted.

Double-strain the mixture through a fine mesh strainer into a chilled rocks glass filled halfway with crushed ice (about 1/2 cup). Double-straining removes any solids from the apple butter and yields a smooth texture.

Taste and, if needed, add up to an additional 0.25 oz simple syrup (or a quick bar spoon) to balance the tartness of the lemon and the strength of the spirits. Stir gently 3–4 rotations to combine without over-diluting.

Adjust sweetness

Garnish the cocktail with a thin apple slice floated on top. Sprinkle the crushed toasted macadamia nut along one edge of the apple slice or rim for aroma and texture. Optionally, express a lemon twist over the drink and drop it in for an aromatic finish.

Serve immediately with a short stirring straw. Note: the macadamia apple butter will create a slightly silky, rich mouthfeel — the crushed macadamia adds a complimentary crunch and nutty aroma.

Horse Soldier Bourbon

Applejack brandy

Macadamia apple butter

Fresh lemon juice

Simple syrup (1:1) or adjust

Crushed ice (for serving)

Thin apple slice (for wheel)

Toasted macadamia nut, crushed

Lemon twist (optional)

Chill the bottle of Cline Ancient Vines Zinfandel briefly in the fridge for 20–30 minutes to reach a serving temperature around 60–65°F (15–18°C). Zinfandel benefits from slight cooling rather than being ice cold.

Open the bottle about 15–30 minutes before serving to let the wine breathe. Pour a small taste and allow to rest in the glass while you assemble the board so aromas open up.

Slice the aged cheddar into 1/4-inch slices or small cubes for easy picking. If using ricotta salata, crumble or slice thinly. Fan or loosely fold the soppressata and prosciutto into small piles for presentation.

Prepare cheeses and charcuterie

On a large cutting board or platter, place cheeses spaced apart, add meats next to them, and tuck small bowls of marinated olives and dried fruit between items. Scatter toasted walnuts or Marcona almonds in small clusters around the board.

Arrange bites

Place small spoons for honey and a small dish for grainy mustard. Arrange sliced baguette or crackers along the edge of the board. Garnish with rosemary sprigs if desired.

Add accoutrements

Taste pairing suggestions: have one bite combining aged cheddar + honey + walnut, and one bite with prosciutto + ricotta salata + dried fig. The spicier salami pairs well with the wine’s ripe blackberry and pepper notes.

Pat the pork dry and season both sides with kosher salt, black pepper, and dried oregano. Heat a heavy skillet over medium-high heat with 2 tbsp olive oil until shimmering. Sear the pork 3–4 minutes per side until a caramelized crust forms (internal temp for chops ~145°F / 63°C).

Season and sear pork

Remove pork to rest on a plate. Deglaze the pan with 3 tbsp red wine reduction or the mix of 1/4 cup Zinfandel + 1/2 cup beef stock. Scrape browned bits and reduce the liquid for 1–2 minutes until slightly thickened. Spoon over pork before serving.

Finish with reduction

Serve the warm pork alongside the pairing board. The richness and slight char from the pork echoes the wine’s jammy fruit and spice and makes a hearty pairing.

Smooth Criminal

Cabernet Sauvignon

Ruffino

Wish

Persimmon Daquiri

Ozark Mountain Elixer

The 1909

Grandad's Orchard Sour